Part Eleven—Inspire and Require

INSPIRE AND REQUIRE

Several years ago at a Thomas Jefferson Education seminar I learned about the concept “Inspire, not Require,” when it comes to teaching children. The idea that if we're good enough at inspiring our children to want to learn something then they will naturally be drawn to want to learn it.  In theory this should work, and I've tried as hard as anyone else to inspire my children. But "not requiring" is not real life. You don’t always get to do or learn what you want. Heavenly Father has rules and requirements, which should give us a clue that “inspire, not require” is not a correct principle.

Giselle gave me permission to share this story which illustrates this point:

By the time she was thirteen, Giselle had only sporadically taken piano lessons from me, Amber, and Jasmyn. She didn't show much interest or talent by that point.

Giselle and Hannah play a duet on the piano (They're playing the beginning of a Grieg piece)

In September 2008, at the start of a new school year I felt that Giselle should continue taking lessons, and I was committed to teaching her on a regular basis. We sat together at the piano for her lesson which ended with me leaving the piano. I didn't say anything, but I had to get away. I sat at the dining room table and put my head in my hands. In desperation I silently asked Heavenly Father what to do for Giselle.

My prayer wasn't actually about piano; it was about what I could do to guide her as a person and what to do for her educationally. Clearly and immediately the thought came, "Put her in piano lessons!" Normally I obey promptings by writing them down and getting to them later. But that answer was so clear and direct that I called Mrs. Linstrom right away.

Chase had taken lessons from her, and I had always said that she was not only the best piano teacher, but the best teacher I had ever witnessed anywhere at any time. I used to watch her work magic with Chase and was amazed and impressed every lesson.

I called Mrs. Linstrom who could hear the desperation in my voice--I told her she was the answer to my prayer and would she please take Giselle?

The first thing she asked me was,
"Does she want to take piano lessons?"
"No--this is totally my idea, but you're the answer to my prayer and I'm begging you to take her."
For some reason she accepted.

When I took Giselle to her first piano lesson I walked inside with her. I told Mrs. Linstrom that I wanted to stay and watch, but knew that I shouldn't do it with Giselle. She said that was probably wise. For the first year Giselle came home almost every lesson and told us how much she hated taking lessons. I told her to take it up with God and let me know what He said about it, since it was His idea.

Sometimes Giselle would be in a foul mood before and after a lesson. Sometimes she cried, but she stuck it out. Two years after taking her first lesson, she opened her own piano studio in our home.

Ironically, a few of Giselle's students gave her what I assume was the same treatment she gave to Mrs. Linstrom. Several times I've thought that the adage "What goes around comes around," was sure true in Giselle's case, (and at times I was glad she was getting as good as she gave.)

First piano recital by Giselle's students

Through the years Giselle learned to love her teacher and to love playing the piano. Now she plays for pleasure and inspires her students because she enjoys making music so much. She even site-reads the hymns for family devotional.

Now Giselle tells how she is the only Bradley child who hasn't worked at Hal’s work--because she has made enough money at her piano--and this is because I made her take piano when she didn't want to.

I believe "inspire and require" is the correct principle.