In 1989 I chose to go against societal norms by educating my children at home. ("Homeschool" is now a word in the dictionary, but it wasn't one in 1989).
I know that I had heard the term “homeschooling” sometime in the 1980’s, because when my sister Angela told me she was pulling her first-grade daughter out of the same class Amber attended so she could “homeschool” her, I asked her the same question every homeschool mother hears, “What about socialization?” (Years later I heard someone say that the main argument against homeschooling is lack of peer socialization, which should warn parents that American schools aren’t necessarily about educating children.)
I loved Amber’s school—it was small and personal; she had graduated from kindergarten there in a little ceremony the spring before; Amber’s teacher was fantastic and absolutely loved her; and I sometimes helped in her classroom and felt that she was having a good experience. So when Angela told me that little first-graders--way back in 1989--were exposed to foul language and other inappropriate things, I wasn't moved to change anything about Amber’s education, except ask her more questions about her experiences there. I was happy about where she was until... I received an impression that I should homeschool Amber. Revelation from God trumps everything else, so Hal and I planned to bring Amber home, though we agreed that she should finish first grade that year.
Fall 1988--Jasmyn and Hal saying good-bye to Amber before she leaves for Eucalyptus Elementary School from our blue apartments on Sequoia Avenue, Hesperia, California.
Jasmyn can't wait to go to school too!
A few months later Hal and I sat with Amber’s teacher, Mrs. Diehl, at the last parent-teacher conference of the year. She just gushed over Amber—Amber was cute, popular, polite, and smart; and Mrs. Diehl raved about her to other teachers. She told us, “I tell all the other teachers that I have the Homecoming Queen of the Year 2000 in my class!!!” A sick feeling came over me because I had to tell her, “We’re pulling Amber out of school and plan to homeschool her this fall.” The teacher’s jaw dropped and I braced myself for her chastisement. Instead she gasped, “Oh! I would do it if I were you!”
I was soooooo surprised and asked, “What? Why?” She confessed, “If I weren’t working I would pull my kids out of school right now. You don’t know what goes on here.” I wanted to grab Amber and run. I thought "if the teacher wants to pull her kids out, there must be something wrong." (Since then I’ve met many families in which the fathers teach children in public school and the mothers teach their children at home.) I didn’t need any other prodding, but this teacher’s outburst validated our decision.
In choosing to homeschool I didn't consider what others might think and I didn't count the huge cost in terms of work, but the inspiration was clear and I determined to move forward as directed. My only considerations were the will of God and the welfare of my children.
Just thinking about this reminds me of the lines in the movie, Little Women, when Laurie tells how his grandfather plans to put him to work in an office to ‘learn the business.’
Laurie: Why is it Amy may paint china, and you can scribble away, while I must manfully set my music aside?
Jo: Why must you?
Laurie: If I don’t…I’d have to defy Grandfather.
Jo: Yes, and not the whole of society.
By bringing Amber home:
I never meant to defy society,
I never meant to cause a stir,
I never meant to be a homeschool pioneer.
But I did, and that is where this story begins 24 years ago.
Amber's ready for school!
I had only the teeniest, tiniest thought that bringing Amber home would mean that she would be deprived her of her public school homecoming queen's crown...hmmm.
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